just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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