he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
