how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
