new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
