At least make sure they are 18
Why
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think I sprained my soul last night
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
