If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
