I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
