I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
