its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
organizing the empties. That sober.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Your penis caused this!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
