i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
did i walk over a car last night?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
