At least make sure they are 18
Why
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
