Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
