Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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