He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
