Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
