Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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