So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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