Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
