did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
