just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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