he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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