we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
