i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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