this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
