Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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