i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
