i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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