Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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