i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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