i think i have two assholes
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
