I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
