i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
