I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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