what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
