just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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