Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Randomize
