its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
