If i come over, it means nothing
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
