yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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