your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
