my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
