I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
