I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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