I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You were trust falling into bushes
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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