we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
