No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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