Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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