so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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