I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
