ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
