if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize