and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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