This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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