At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
