barbara walters just said penis...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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