youre lurking in front of me
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
